I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
