he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
