so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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