yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize