Whod you bang
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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