Don't you send me to vm
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
