dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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