Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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