Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize