You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
two words: eviction party
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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