My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
