We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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