Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
