no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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