I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
