So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
