all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize