You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
