Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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