im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
And then my night got REAL pukey
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
