i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
