Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
