I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
