Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
