She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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