Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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