I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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