she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
