omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
