Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
