1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
