All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize