Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
