how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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