im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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