If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing