Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
People Share Why They Quit a Job on The Spot
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
These Childish Behaviors Are Way Too Common Among Adults
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.