The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
