I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
