My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
