I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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