I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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