I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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