My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Betty ford says i'm here all night
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
