so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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