There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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