Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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