oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
