Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
