never play flip cup with pint glasses
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
