I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
