Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize