It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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