Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
