I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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