If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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