Farmville is her only friend.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
