i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
