I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
