i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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