Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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